Growing up, your mother always told you, "Someday, you will have a child that will drive you nuts for all horrible things you have done." Apparently, you were a horrendous child. You have been sentenced to the most romantic island in the world, with teenagers. Your poor mother.

Maui, Hawaii has more swimmable beaches than any other Hawaiian Island, some of the world's best golf courses, and home to the largest dormant volcano in the world. Forced to spend your time in paradise with teenagers can be one of two very memorable experiences. It can be a pleasure or a very painful event.

Sitting pool side with a tropical beverage topped with an umbrella, you get to watch your teenager bake in the sun in a very inappropriate bathing suit. You try to relax in the glorious atmosphere of salty air and palm trees, while your teenager listens to music on their MP3 player loud enough to be heard at the neighboring resort two miles away. Walks on the white, black, green, or gold sand beaches rake up $2,368 in cell phone charges by your child. The sight seeing whale boat ride is spent holding their hand, as they get sea sick during the entire two hour trip. You spend a thousand dollars on surfboard rental, gear, and lessons for your teenager to announce, "It just isn't my thing." after four days of begging for the board. The conclusion of your vacation is the famous Luau. You try to enjoy the delicious food, entertainment, and dancing. Your teenager smacks their gum through the meal, rolls their eyes at the entertainment, and storms off to the room when you dance in public.

May I suggest a sunset bike ride from the top of Haleakala to the sugar fields near the ocean. Twelve miles of down hill pedaling with your family can be a life long memory of sights and sounds. The ocean views, pineapple groves, whales, and glorious colors as the sun sets on the water should be shared with the ones you love. Explore the second tallest waterfall in the United States. Discover a few of the ten state parks, 39 community beaches, and one National Park with gusto and energy. Some of the parks even have skateboard parks, craft fairs, and community activities that will lure your youth into a good time. Take in a round of golf on some of the most lavishly laid courses around, as your mini me takes a scuba diving lesson.

If all else fails, ask a local for directions to Slaughter House 5. It is a secret cove surrounded by two reefs. Wear comfortable shoes, take food, water, and bathroom supplies for the afternoon. After scaling the side of a wooded cliff, you will experience something that few people have. World class professional surfers practice here. It is a place of wonderment and dreams. The beauty is undeniable.

You decide if you want to press the floral lei from your Hawaiian adventure as a keepsake, or wrap it tightly around your teenagers neck. Pleasure or pain is up to you. Just don't forget to send your mother a postcard. Aloha!